FINDING the STAR in 2020

Written by Carol-Ivette Granados & Edited by Katie Velasquez

When a New Year starts I get so motivated to start new goals (I like this word better than resolutions as it motivates me much more) such as exercising - believe it or not I actually like to exercise I just can’t find the time to do it; waking up early to get my prayer done - waking up early for me is a huge battle; going to bed on time- I am a night person but taking into consideration my husband’s health issues, we both need to be in bed at a reasonable time; being a respectful wife by not yelling or getting upset-my passionate temperament does not help me to achieve this easily. Another goal is trying to be a patient mother-listening to each child’s needs instead of what I think they need. Finally, not running like crazy with so many things to do that I have no time for my family.

I believe these are all good goals. However, when I recently had spiritual direction, the priest open my eyes to see the essentials. I want to share his thoughts with you, because I imagine there is more people who have the same experience. Doing way too many things for the sake of the family but at the end there is no time for God and the family. But aren´t these the most important part in the list of priorities as a Christian: God and the family? Didn’t God say in John 15:5 “for apart for me you can do nothing. ”Isn’t it God who multiples the bread and fishes (MK 8)? So, why don’t we put prayer first? Why do we leave it second or last? If we could only understand and believe that God is the one who does it all, not us. We are so worried about our children, husband, family… we search in the Internet, what are the best programs…. When in reality, the first thing we should do is to pray and ask God what is best for each one of them.

The priest mentioned to me how the Wise Men were able to see the STAR and follow it. This observation helped me to meditate on the following: How come others did not see the Star? The Star was shining so bright in the darkness. It is available for everyone to see. How come they did not see it? Everyone was so busy with their things, rushing from one thing to another, or too caught up in themselves.

Only those who were quiet, not rushing and looking outside of themselves were able to see it. The ones looking up to heaven could see it. God is clearly asking me to stop running, and to go slower so I can see Him, hear Him and in that way, I will be able to have time for my family and give to them what each one needs.

So, I would conclude this is the most important resolution: to put God first and then your family. Now, how can we make it happen in order to achieve these two essential goals?

Each person may have a different answer depending on your particular vocation and family. For myself, I know I need to spend more time in front of the tabernacle praying. It is not just praying or asking God what I want or think, but rather to meditate on God; getting to KNOW HIM more, LOVING Him more and doing His WILL with FAITH and TRUST.

I have so many hopes and dreams for this year. Don’t we all? I have five wonderful children (I guess I am biased because I am their mom). On January 6th for the Feast of the Epiphany, my husband and I decided to celebrate in the Mexican tradition. We do this by preparing a large meal with the whole family and eating the traditional King cake - “La Rosca de Reyes” with hot chocolate. At the end of the meal, we asked the children what their dreams and resolutions were for 2020. Of course, the older kids could answer in a clear way. The younger kids were happy with whatever it was. My oldest sons are 12 and 10 years old. Then follow our girls: 9, 7 and 4 years old. The children shared enthusiastically all the things they would like, which led to a great discussion. You may wonder, how can it be a great conversation with five young children wanting so many things? This was a great opportunity for my children to see and realize what is important and make priorities. As well, for us as a family, to not get lost in the “wants” if it does not align with our family mission (we will talk about this in one of our future workshops ). It is essential to know where the family is going and where it wants to go.

I would like to challenge you to get together with your family to talk about each one´s goals or dreams for this year. More importantly, to come up with a family goal that will help you as a family to be a stronger, happier and holier family. As well, to try and see where you are and where you want to go and how will you accomplish it.

I highly recommend praying together as a family. If you already do this, then you can add something more, such as going to adoration together, praying a decade of the Rosary or even the whole Rosary, or perhaps praying a Novena together. If anyone in your family does not want to pray it is okay… your testimony speaks louder than words.

I know of a family where none of their kids and husband went to Mass on Sundays and, of course, not on the weekend. She got some advice from a priest not to talk to them about God but instead, to talk about them to God. She started to go to Mass daily. She also started to pray for one or both of her sons to become a Priest. A few weeks later, her parish asked her to pray for vocations to the Priesthood and Deacon. Four years later, her husband started to study to be a Deacon and then 6 years later one of her sons joined the seminary. They both had the amazing privilege to be ordained together.

It is essential to have time to pray by yourself, to give yourself a few minutes to talk to God: only you and Him. My kids know not to interrupt me when I am praying in my room in front of my little prayer table I have set up in there (I invite you to have a praying table or a place to pray). They know I am talking to God so they must respect my time with Him. It is something I taught them since they were little kids. Just as they want to copy all what mom does, when they are kids, they themselves set up a praying table in their room. This reminds us that prayer is priority. Moreover, it helps me to go pray in front of the tabernacle or adoration. This is very important in my life now. If I can’t do this, it is like missing a meal.

Here are some ways that can help you to make your prayer life and goals concrete:

- When and where will I pray daily (consistency is the key here)?

- When, where and what will we pray as a family? (consistency is key here as well) When we started praying the rosary as a family it was a challenge for my children, but now they are used to the routine and even set up every evening for prayer time. My youngest can color or do puzzles while we pray the Rosary.

-What is the goal for our family this year 2020 (this will allow you to be industrious)? Every family has a special mission; so do not compare yourself with others.

-How are we going to reach this goal as a family in 2020? (this gives clarity and not just follow where the wind takes you)

-TRUST: Put all of these plans in the hands of God. He knows and has compassion on our needs (MK 8: 2). Here is a novena I want to share with you, my family has just started it- The Surrender Novena